Soooo, remember way back when I declared my post-marriage name change (from Cris Stone to Cris Stone-The Boy)? Yeah… about that.
But I didn’t mean to! Hear me out – when I made that declaration, I truly did believe that hyphenating my name was the best thing to do. See, at the time my ultra-modern boyfriend was pretty damn stuck on me sharing his last name. I was pretty hooked on keeping mine. After lots of discussion (“I’m not property” versus “It’s easier with military documents”), we compromised and it was decided that I would hyphenate. As with most compromises, neither of us was particularly happy about it but whatever.
Then my dad got sick, we got married almost a whole year before we were supposed to, and then my dad died. And I? Was (and am still) completely shell-shocked. And apparently, completely attached to my name. I’ve always been ferociously attached to my last name because my biological father left my mom when I was born – because I was a girl. Two years later she married a wonderful man who fought to adopt me and my sisters and give us his last name. I have never, ever forgotten the moment in the courtroom when it became official. And I’ve loved my last name ever since.
But, I was willing to compromise because it was so important to him and we basically see eye-to-eye on everything else. Hyphenated name? Sure. Fine. I’ll give in because sometimes compromise means that neither of you is completely happy with your decision but neither of you loathes it enough to call the whole thing off.
Then last year happened and I just couldn’t do it. I could not change my name. I don’t know if it was because it was a whole year before I was planning on doing it or maybe it’s because I’m super attached to anything involving my dad right now or maybe I’m just using those things as an excuse to get my way. For whatever reason, I can’t do it.
And The Boy, well. He appears to be okay with it. In fact, when we went car shopping a few weeks ago he gave the salespeople my name name. Good sign of the future or biding his time until after our May wedding to bring it up? Who knows… I’ll share once I figure it out, too. In the meantime, for those of you who will be doing the name change thing, here's a handy little download to help you do it: