All I Really Want for Mother’s Day Is…

I want to preface this entire post by saying that I 100% love and adore my daughter and son and am so, so glad to be her mother. However… I'm so completely exhausted by parenting that all I really want for Mother's Day is…

I want to preface this entire post by saying that I 100% love and adore my daughter and am so, so glad to be her mother. However... I'm so completely exhausted by parenting that all I really want for Mother's Day is...

To be left completely alone. Preferably with cupcakes.

A magic pill that gets me back into my pre-pregnancy clothes.

No cooking. At all. Ever.

Diamonds. The sparkier the better.

For people to stop posting pictures of their “furbabies” on Facebook and claim to be celebrating Mother's Day because you're their parent. FYI, you are not. I'm sorry. It's true. A dog/cat/iguana IS NOT the same thing as a kid – not even close. Just accept it and let the mothers of actual human beings have ONE FUCKING DAY to themselves.

TO BE LEFT ALONE.

A full day of someone-else-changes-that-kid's-damn-diapers.

To go to the bathroom without any “assistance”.

To not be asked where anything is, what's for dinner, or anything else that you can figure out yourdamnself. FIGURE IT OUT… and leave me alone.

A pedicure.

A bed filled with money that I can roll around in naked.

A long, hot bath… ALONE.

To watch one movie, in it's entirety, without interruptions.

Seriously… leave me alone and let me sleep or poop or shower all by myself.

What do you REALLY want for Mother's Day?