Have I got a doozy of a post for y’all today. It’s about sex, baby (it’s about you and me/it’s about all the good things and the bad things/that may be/let’s talk about sex/let’s talk about sex – not a Salt N Pepa fan? Then I’m sorry, we can’t be friends.). Specifically, the importance of discussing you and your partner’s sexual health.
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Please notice that I said talking about you and your partner’s sexual health not you and your partner’s sexual history. Those are two completely separate things and one is vastly more important to discuss pre-marriage than the other. Personally, I think that someone’s sexual history (number of partners, age of first sexual encounter, etc.) is a very personal matter that they should share with others only if they feel the need to or the want to. On the other hand, a person’s sexual health (any children, sexually transmitted diseases, etc.) is a matter of great importance to anyone that they have had/are having/or will have sex with. Simply put, if you’re sleeping with someone then you can chose to tell them about how you lost your virginity but you really must inform them if you have ever gotten a venereal disease.
But, you say, I’m marrying this person! I’ve never noticed anything weird – why should we address our sexual health and all those uncomfortable things that it may unearth? Because – it’s your sexual health. YOUR HEALTH. Before you two trot down the aisle, you’re going to discuss your family issues, your hopes and dreams, your finances – and you should talk about your health. EVERY aspect of your health – including your “special parts”.
Think of it less as sexually-centered and more as a straight up health issue. ‘Cause here’s the dealio, if one of you had had a past surgery or health issue (like Grave’s disease or a torn ACL) – you’d discuss it because this is something that could affect both of you later in your relationship (via potential health issues or insurance problems). This is also true with sexual health issues. For example, a past VD could still be transferable or it may have even affected your fertility. Some untreated or undertreated issues could lead to premature death. And, as their partner, wouldn’t you want to be informed of these issues so that you had the opportunity to handle them as a team?
So y’all, please take your sexual health seriously! Take time to discuss you and your partner’s sexual health, educate yourselves on sexual issues, and discuss potential issues that may arise in the future due to either of your past sexual choices.
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Tulle Nation, have you discussed your sexual history with your partner? How did that make you feel? What was most important for you to talk about? Do you think it’s important to discuss sexual health before getting married? Let’s start a (clean and practical) discussion in the comments.