Oh, pregnancy hair. You’re one of those awesome things that supposed to happen when a woman gets knocked up. Everyone says, “Oh, your hair is going to be SO thick and SO shiny and SO amazing.”. Well, it is… sort of. But seriously pregnancy, WTF is up with all this damn hair?!?!
In my first trimester, my hair actually completely spazzed out. The scalp was oily and for the first time in my life I had dandruff. The normally a little wavy/curly bottom part of my hair became a horrible, frizzy mess. Yeah, it was hot…
Then during the second trimester, I discovered Suave Moroccan Infusion Shine Conditioner and Pantene Pro-V Aqua Light Weightless Nourishment Shampoo. And the heavens opened! The shampoo controlled the oil slick on my scalp while the conditioner made my curls soft and smooth-ish. It was also around this time that people began commenting on how curly my hair was. And it was true – pregnancy made my curls much thicker and tighter and frankly, cuter. Awesome.
My third trimester hair has been a little weird. Still super curly but the frizzies are starting again. I think this has more to do with the Texas humidity than pregnancy. But really, WTF do I know?
Here’s the really, really weird part. When they tell you all about how your hair is going to be all thick and gorgeous and stuff – they ain’t just talkin’ about the stuff on your head. OH NO. Look lower, y’all. L-O-W-E-R…
That’s right, I appear to be growing a Muppet down there. And it’s even more awesome because I can’t afford to get anything waxed right now and my laser hair removal people don’t work on pregnant women. Plus, I can’t exactly bend in the ways I need to maneuver a razor or clippers around my lady parts. So, basically I’m doing my impression of a 1970’s porn star over here.
But that’s not all. Now look up… like, up your nose. See all that? EW! It grows thicker and faster, too! OMG. The day I realized that my nostrils resembled an old man’s was SUPER EMBARRASSING. I used to be able to take a cruise around Nostril Town, like, once a month or so. Now? It’s gotta be once a week or people start avoiding eye contact. And my upper lip? Has always had some soft blonde hair that I would tweeze a bit every few months. During my pregnancy, it has grown into a full mustache and now I look like a proud Norwegian man.
Any of you have weird hair issues during your pregnancy?