My Four Month Old is Teething

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My four month old is teething.

Let that sink in. My baby, who is only four months old, IS TEETHING. Two to four months before the experts say she is supposed to be. It's as awesome as you think it is… as in, NOT AWESOME AT ALL. To be frank, it completely blows. And nursing with a baby who has new teeth and doesn't understand not biting? Too fab for words. Actually, there are lots of words but I'll spare you my sailor mouth (the other day she bite me so hard  that her Dad came running from the other room to see if my nipple was still connected to my body).

Now that we are on our second tooth (both bottom centers are in), I feel like I can discuss teething with a small baby. First, babies this young don't understand what's happening. All they know is that their mouth is exploding and it might kill them and OMGWHYDON'TYOUHELPME, MOMMY?!?!? The look your baby will give you during this time is similiar to the one they'll give you during shots… but times a million because it's all day, every day, for weeks! As a Mommy, it truly sucks.

Also, they will scream. Like demons trying summon the devil with only the sound of their voices – they will scream. Hang in there and maybe buy some earmuffs.

In addition to the explosive screaming, your baby's ass with also shoot forth awfulness. Babies who have never had even a hint of diaper rash will suddenly have bright red backends. And the poo – oh man, the poo. My baby is exclusively breastfed so her diapers are normally mustard yellow, have little seed looking things, and don't really smell. Enter teething and suddenly my baby's diaper is filled with green-tinged, tan poo and SMELLY. Gag.

And everyone on the freaking planet will “just know” how to cure your baby's teething symptoms. Doesn't matter if you've figured out what's working for your little one and what their preferences are – these people will make you try their way BECAUSE YOU MUST! MUST! MUST! or you will be the worse parent ever.

The funny thing is, what works for your baby and what works for the general population are usually NOT the same thing. For example, here's what worked for everyone else on the planet and my baby hated:

• Baby Orajel – She's completely Meh about this. She really hates having it applied and then it only seems to work for like, 5 seconds. Plus, it makes her even more drooly.
• Munchkin Fun Ice Soothing Ring Teether – She hates this thing and especially when it's been in the fridge or freezer.
• Fresh Food Feeder by Munchkin – She doesn't eat solid foods yet so I'm still holding out for this one.
• Washcloth – I've always frozen these after wetting them and every baby ever has loved it. Not my baby though.
• Gum Massagers – WTF? Your baby is miserable so lets ram a stick down their maw.

Here's what worked for my baby:

• Nihamaj Teething Toy with Crochet Wooden Beads – Melanie loves to “wear” this on her wrist and chew on the smaller woodn beads.
• Manhattan Toy Winkel – While out shopping for Christmas gifts, her Daddy gave her this to entertain her… and she loved it so much, we ended up leaving the store with it.
• Vulli Sophie the Giraffe Teether – This is THE toy for Melanie. She loves the squeaky noise and how easy it is to hold.
• Spoons – I discovered this by accident while we were out eating and she's hoooked on them like a hooker on meth.
• Little Sapling Toys Alaska and Texas Wood Teethers – Melanie loves these wooden teethers. I keep one by our bed and one in my purse for her to gnaw on.

Did your baby teeth early?