Man. I am the worst Mom ever. Home from vacation less than 24 hours and I DROPPED MY BABY. Seriously, I'm still upset and crying over this and feel just awful.
Here's the story:
I breastfeed Melanie and she loves to nurse before she goes to bed. Our nightly routine is bath, diaper, jammies, and a book in Mommy's bed while Melanie nurses. Then she drifts off and I leave her in our bed (surrounded by pillows) for a while, until she is in a deeper sleep, before moving her to her crib. I've been doing this for months with no issues… until last night. Last night, she wiggled and rolled around the pillow barrier while I was in the bathroom and FELL OFF THE BED. I heard a thud and then screaming and it was so, so bad. I ran into our room, picked her up, and snuggled her to me.
She screamed for about 5 minutes while my husband and I checked her over for injuries and/or a concussion. We didn't see anything so I settled on the couch with her. We didn't want her to go back to bed until we'd observed her for a while to make sure that she was truly okay. So, I'm snuggling her on the couch and she's laughing and smiling until – she chewed on my sweatshirt drawstring and started screaming terribly. She pulled back and I saw blood inside her mouth. And since I am such a good mom, I promptly flipped out. My baby fell off our bed and now she was bleeding. Worst. Mommy. Ever.
The Boy discovered that one of her (two) teeth had moved a little and the gum was bleeding. It was then that we decided to load up and head to the ER (at 1AM). I sat in the backseat with Melanie so I could prevent her from falling asleep (common to concussions) and/or chewing on anything. I may or may not have also cried a lot. When we got to the ER, Melanie was admitted and cheerful as could be. She cooed at all the nurses and played with the heart rate moniter thing that they taped to her big toe. Since it was a Saturday night, we had to wait a LONG time to be seen by a doctor (all those damn drunk drivers) but Melly had a blast entertaining all the nurses and medics in the ER.
Around 5AM, we did get a doctor and he promptly feel in love with our baby – telling us repeatedly how cool she was. He had us help hold her down while he examed her (mostly because she was so interested in seeing what he was doing) and declared her fine. Her tooth is loose but looks to be still rooted so she shouldn't lose it. I was relieved to hear that. After all, she had only just made that tooth! Of course, I was more relieved to know that she was okay and hadn't suffered any serious damage from her dumb ass Mommy.
We headed home, exhausted and hungry and emotionally spent. We were allowed to let Melanie sleep and nurse as usual so I fed her right before we left for home. Because of her loose tooth, I noticed that her latch was a bit “off” but she wasn't dribbling and didn't seem to be in any pain. That was another relief since we worked so hard to breastfeed – I didn't want her to stop because of pain. That night, she slept great and the next morning, it was like it had never happened.
Why am I sharing all this with you? Because I still feel SO awful. Because I know I'm not the only one out there who has dropped their baby and I want you to know that you're not alone. Because this blog is about the good and the bad. And because I'm hoping that writing about it will make me feel better. I promise you, this terrible experience has made us re-evaluate when and how we handle Melly. No more sleeping in our bed without us. We're working on getting her to fall asleep in her crib.
Have any of you had a Bad Mommy or Daddy experience? Tell me I'm not alone…