Wedding Wednesday: Yours, Mine, and Ours – The Wedding Inviation/Save-The-Date Edition

OMG, y’all. Remember back when wedding planning was fun? It’s like it was sooo loooong agoooo. These last couple of weeks, I’ve tackling the crapfest known as save-the-dates and wedding invitations. I realized in March that I had had our save-the-dates since JUNE OF 2011 and STILL had not sent them out. Oy. Major fail on my part. So I powered through it and forced everyone involved to FREAKING GIVE ME YOUR GUEST LIST ADDRESSES (coughcoughmomcoughcough), formatted them, printed them on to cute Martha Stewart for Staples labels (super easy by the way), and mailed them off. Yippee!

Then the nightmare began. Some people got there’s and called us to thank us for inviting them, congratulate us, compliment the cuteness, etc. Other people were stupid assholes. For the record, NONE of MY people were the stupid assholes (coughcoughTheBoy’sfriendsandfamilycoughcough).

Here’s a small sampling of the Assholery… in Four Acts.

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Image Courtesy of: Oh So Beautiful Paper

Act One:

Asshole: “So, the wedding is at you house. Can I crash there for a few days?”

The Boy: “No. We’re too busy with the wedding to have houseguests. Please book a room at the hotel or stay with a friend.”

Asshole: “But I’ll sleep on the couch!”

The Boy: “No. We don’t have time to entertain, cook, for, clean up after a houseguest. Get a room somewhere else.”

Asshole: “Oh, you won’t have to clean up after me or cook for me! It’ll be fine.”

The Boy: “Dude. No. Grow up. Get a room.”

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Image Courtesy of: Oh So Beautiful Paper

Act Two:

Asshole: “So, the wedding is at you house. I can wear (jeans, shorts, fishing shirt, insert inappropriate level of casual clothing here)?”

The Boy: “No. This is a wedding. Please dress appropriately.”

Asshole: “But it’s at your house.”

The Boy: “It’s still a wedding. I’m wearing a suit. People are wearing nice dresses. Put on some slacks and a nice shirt.”

Asshole: “But I can change for the reception?”

The Boy: “Dude. Grow up.”

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Image Courtesy of: Crafty Minx

Act Three:

Asshole: “You didn’t put my girlfriend’s name on the save-the-date. I told you to put her name on there.”

The Boy: “Listen. In the time Cris and I have been engaged you’ve been married, divorced, living with someone, and have dated at least 3 other women. We decided to just let you bring a guest with you to the wedding. We’ll get whoever’s name when it gets closer.”

Asshole: “But I love her.”

The Boy: “But if you break up with her and her name was on the invitation then technically, she’s still invited. Would you have a good time if she showed up?”

Asshole: “No. But I love her. We’ll still be together.”

The Boy: “Dude. Grow up. Then bring her as your Plus One.”

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Image Courtesy of: Allison Maire Photography

Act Four:

Asshole: “It’s at your house? So I can get drunk and crash on your couch, right?”

The Boy: “No. This is a wedding. You need to go home at the end of the night.”

Asshole: “Oh. But I can get drunk right?”

The Boy: “There will be a keg at the wedding but you probably will not be able to get drunk on it after everyone shares.”

Asshole:  “Oh. So I bring beer? Cool.”

The Boy: “No. This is a wedding not a BYOB frat party.”

Asshole:  “It’s okay. If I get drunk I’ll just bring (insert 18 year-old-son’s name here). He can be my Designated Driver.”

The Boy: “No, you cannot. We invited you and a guest. You wanted to bring your girlfriend. That means you can’t bring your son. Pick one.”

Asshole:  “But I want to get drunk.”

The Boy: “Dude. You’re in your 40’s. Grow up.”

Aaand scene.

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Image Courtesy of: 100 Layer Cake

I’m not the only one who’s had wedding invitation/save-the-date nightmare experiences with my guests. Here’s a small sampling from around Tulle Nation:

Liz Lewis (aka The Ranty Bride): “I was surprised that we got 'maybes' on the RSVP cards. If I recall correctly, most of those people ended up not coming anyway. And, really, if you don't know if you can attend a month out and travel is involved, you're probably not going.”

Mindy Marzec (aka The Budget Fairy Tale): “We just sent ours out last weekend. I'm scared because we aren't giving anyone +1s and I know that causes a lot of drama.”

Brynn Davello (of Davello Photography): “This is more funny than rude, but still bizarre. My MIL asked us to invite some really good friends of hers that don't know us. We happily did so but at the time of mailing my invites the post office was using an ASPCA postage mark. Every envelope had a dog and kitty picture on it. The lady thought it was a fundraiser for homeless pets and told her husband to throw it away. He saw it was hand addressed and opened it. He then asked his wife why they had been invited to a gay wedding because he read my name as BRYAN! They RSVPed yes and then no-showed.”

Annie Resnicoff-Guditus: We had a lot of non-responders from Hubby's father's side and had to personally contact most of them multiple times to get an answer. Most of them didn’t bother to send back the RSVP cards which, of course, were already stamped. How hard is it to check a box or write a number and throw the thing in the mail!?!?! Lots of them said they lost the cards – how disrespectful is that? And talk about wasteed postage. I would have happily spent that money on something else!”

Janna (of Sparkly Love): “One of his mom's friends flipped a psycho shit that we didn't invite her adult son (who we are not friends with). She sent back the response card with her sons name added at the bottom and his mom was like ‘Don't worry, I’ll cover his meal’ and I was like UMM it has NOTHING to do with that. Wedding response cards show you who your real friends are. Trust me. There were people I thought were like amazing friends and then were like ‘Oh, my friend is having this bonfire on the beach for 4th of July and I go every year so I can't come to your wedding.’"

OMG! I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE! What is the deal with rude wedding guests? Is there a law or something that says that someone somewhere has to be a complete dick and ask for something really inappropriate? Tulle Nation – please tell me that someone out there has had a good invite/guest experience.