It’s Wedding Wednesday again, y’all! For the past couple of weeks, I’ve taken this opportunity to share lotsa my wedding’s fun and colorful stuff with you. But it’s time to be real. Sometimes, the process of getting’ married isn’t all DIY buntings and buying pretty stuff. Sometimes, it’s serious. Like the dreaded name game. To change or not to change – that is the question.
This is a passionate debate with plenty of deep feelings on both sides of the fence (and with lots of unsolicited opinions and “advice” from other fences ***coughcough*** family members). I could sit here all day and list the perceived pros and cons of changing or not changing your name. But that decision all boils down to you and your partner. Whether you like it or not.
Take for example, The Boy and I. One day while we were dating, we randomly stumbled on to ye olde name change conversation. And imagine my shock when I found out that completely modern, pretty forward-thinking, open-minded boyfriend was absolutely adamant that his wife would have the same name as him. WHAT?!?!
See, I’ve always planned on keeping my name. I like it. It’s short, simple, and people remember it. Also, I am ferociously attached to my last name because my biological father left my mom when I was born – because I was a girl. Two years later she married a wonderful man who fought to adopt me and my sisters and give us his last name. I have never, ever forgot that moment in the courtroom when it became official. And I’ve loved my last name ever since.
Needless to say, I was less than thrilled to find out that my future husband was so resolute about me taking his last name (and a little pissed because his ex-wife was still using his last name. Awkward.). I tried every argument and rational theory that I could think of to alter his opinion but nada. He was stuck on it.
Fast forward to our super non-romantic engagement and one of the things that we talked about was The Name Change. Either of had budged on our way of thinking. So, we met halfway – I’m hyphenating my name. Neither of us is completely happy with this arrangement but… whatcha gonna do? Sometimes, marriage means compromise. And sometimes compromise means that neither of you is completely happy with your decision but neither of you loathes it enough to call the whole thing off.
So that’s our story. What’s yours? Thinking of changing yours or no way in hell? Who made the decision and how did your partner feel about it? How are you tackling your name change? Are you using a service like Mrs. Forever or doing it yourself? If you’re tackling this on your own – be sure to download this cheat sheet as a little reminder of all the different things you need to do to change it: