So, yeah, I got married. A recap is coming, but I feel this is an urgent issue to WHICH I MUST ATTEND. The clinking annoys me enough at other weddings, so when it happened at my own, I started mentally composing this post.
I don't know how this tradition started. It never made sense to me, given my overwhelming desire not to see people making out. ESPECIALLY, but certainly not limited to, family members.
Image Courtesy of: One Wed
I know people make out and I understand the general logistics enough to be able to picture what it would look like for a given couple to do so in the event that I wanted said picture in my head. And I get that weddings involve a degree of kissing both by the newlyweds and other (drunk) guests. But the idea that I would ever want to actively engage in an action meant to allow me, the viewer, to watch some other people get kissy IN FRONT OF GRANDMAS, no less, completely floors me. It is especially horrifying to think that someone's PARENT would want to watch their child get all makey-outy (you can probably guess whose parent… ahem.).
Image Courtesy of: One Wed
Look, even if you're pro-PDA, this should die for one reason in particular: the bride and groom need to eat. At your average wedding, they have approximately 12 seconds to do so. If your nerves are anything like mine, you probably didn't eat much for breakfast or lunch and therefore, are only running on pure adrenaline come 6 PM.
Adequate food = fewer meltdowns and/or drunken episodes.
Image Courtesy of: Caroline Ghetes Photography
Clanging for a kiss or two when they first arrive? Fine, but then give the couple a break if they're not enjoying it. Especially if you're immediate family. You may think you're being cute and funny as you're clanging away each time the bride or groom picks up their fork, but, in addition to annoying someone who is probably already cranky because they didn't eat all day, wanting your family member (let's say, child, for the sake of example… ahem.) to kiss 500 times is also kind of creepy and weird.
Image Courtesy of: CNN
Really, I think I hate the clanging tradition so much because those who abuse it are – let's face it – doing it to get attention. The focus of the day should be celebrating the bride and groom's happiness. If they're into it, by all means, clang away. But if it obviously makes them uncomfortable for whatever reason – and the reason isn't important – continuing to tap that glass is now all about YOU. And it's not about you, remember? Plus, coming from experience here, you're going to be the one who's mad when the happy couple didn't spend "enough" time with you at the reception, so if you actually let them eat in a timely manner, they'll have more time to spend with their guests afterward.
Image Courtesy of: Black Bride
The bride and groom should be able to demonstrate their happiness in the way they're most comfortable. Trust me, they'll kiss on their own if they want to, so put down the damn knife.
What traditions do you want to see die?
Melissa says
Best.Article.Ever. I hate the clinking glasses tradition! We had plastic cups and plastic silverware, so I wasn’t too worried about it. But you know what people did? Clanked things on our GLASS CENTERPIECE VASES. We obliged in their silly tradition, but still, UGH!
Favorcraver says
I am the cousin that leads the drunken glass clinking. I am not doing it for attention, I’m doing it to make you KIISSSSSSS! I cannot be swayed.
Ariella says
Ugh, I totally hate this too. I think because of the nature of our wedding, it didn’t happen as much to us. We had a cocktail reception so there was a lot of walking around and mingling by the guests. Chuck and I also didn’t have a sweetheart table. We sat where ever we felt like it. At one point, I was sitting with friends from work while he was sitting with family. And at another point we sat together. I think because of our lack of a sweetheart table and therefore the lack of a place for people to stare at us, it discouraged the clinking.
Kewain Scott says
My friend’s Dad gave a speech and it was short and to the point and also heartfelt. I think people have lost sight of what the tradition is supposed to be about.
Liz says
@Kewain – that completely makes sense. I didn’t connect the toasting as the start of the clinking. A nice toast would be welcomed.
@Ariella – we sort of had the same setup. It was very informal, however we did sit together while eating. But, yeah, at one point, the (people who shall remain nameless – rhymes with ‘nin-maws’) were clinking away, so I just randomly kissed the closest person, proximity-wise. Most people got the hint that we weren’t going to comply.
I forgot to include that a friend’s now-husband was in a fraternity where the tradition was to chug a beer when people clinked glasses. So, at their reception, people started clinking away, and when she leaned in for a kiss, there he was, chugging his drink. Ha.