Married Monday: Dealing With The Baby Question

You've been married exactly 10 seconds when you are suddenly bum rushed by your second cousin who demands to know, "When are you two going to have a baby?". Ugh. The shit people think is okay to say to newlyweds (or ANYONE for that matter)…

Married Monday: Dealing With The Baby Question
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Listen, it is NOBODY'S business but your own if and when you have children. Let me say it again. THAT IS NOBODY'S BUSINESS. But, alas, society being as it is, apparantly it is MORE rude to point that out to people than it is for them to get all up in your personal affairs. So here's a few suggestions on how to deal when people ask, "When are you two going to have a baby?".

Tell a little white lie.</

Tell a little white lie. Listen, we all do it. It's a polite way to evade people's nosiness while maintaining your relationship with them. This a good time to bust out the old "Oh, we're not ready right now. Maybe someday…". And then change the subject.

Be honest.

Be honest. This is the one to use on your immediate family and closest friends. Suck it up and tell them (in private) how you feel and why you've made your decision. Be firm but gentle. Living your life the way that you want can sometimes step on other people's dreams and they may have problems accepting your choices. But stand strong – it's your life, your marriage, and only YOU know what's best for it.


Compromise. This is a good one for parents dying to be grandparents. Just tell them that you're feeling pressured by their questions and if they can agree to stop asking about it – you'll be sure that they are the VERY FIRST people you tell.


Humor. Make a joke. "I don't know! We keep sitting in the same hot tub but nothing's happening!" – then change the topic.

Be rude.

Be rude. This is a good one for random strangers or people you just hate. When they drop the "When are you two going to have a baby?" question, respond with, "I don't know… when are you going to fix that nose?". Then smile and walk away.

Don't forget – always, always deliver these lines with a smile. It's the sweet and "sincere" smile that will sell it. And just try to think of these invasive queries as less about you and more about the asker. “People like to think that what they are doing is right, and if you do it too, that validates their choices,” says Mark Sharp, Ph.D., clinical psychologist at Aiki Relationship Institute in Illinois.

So, how do y'all deal with The Baby Question?