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Baby, Mommy, Pregnancy + Parenting · March 14, 2018

More Shit I’ve Said to My Baby

[su_note note_color=”#FFFFFF”]// This is an old post from a now defunct blog of mine. It's still funny. //[/su_note]

So, my baby is seven months old, I'm a crappy mother, and (since it was so popular before) here's more shit I've said to my baby this week:

More Shit I've Said to My Baby #parenting #badparentingmoments

“Leave that fossil alone!” (moments before she dropped it on her finger)

“Hold still while I pull this long hair off your cookie.” (for the record, it was one of my hairs)

“No. You have to give me kisses before I'll give you boobies.”

“STOP LICKING THE FLOOR!” (said multiple times a day)

“Please don't fart on my head.”

“I will kiss your, kiss your, kiss your little butt.”

“Get off the printer!”

“Does that book taste good?”

“Why, why, WHY do you eat the dog's fur?”

“Melanie, it's not okay to kick your Daddy's nuts.”

I am a terrible mother.

Posted In: Baby, Mommy, Pregnancy + Parenting

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I'm excited to be able to share a special holiday initiative by Huggies and Dollar General. This year, they're helping babies thrive by giving diapers to families in need. For every pack of Huggies diapers purchased at Dollar General through December 31, 2017, Huggies will donate a day’s worth of diapers (up to 500,000) and Dollar General will donate $1 (up to $5,000) to the National Diaper Bank Network (NDBN) as part of the Huggies No Baby Unhugged program. #ad #DiaperNeed #NoBabyUnhugged #ICDiapers – Unique Way To Give Back This Holiday Season

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I'm Cris. I live in Alaska with my husband, two kids, and cat. I love sleeping, Disney, Marvel, and French fries.

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I'm Cris. Kiss My Tulle is filled with humor, down-to-earth advice, true parenting stories that are equal parts funny and horrifying, and some swearing while tackling real life in a perfectionist world. Stick around!

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