The Ranty Bride {Liz Lewis}: The One Where I Tell Everyone To F-Off

Stop telling me how to feel, dammit.

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Image Courtesy of: Flair Bridesmaids

I'm tired of the shocked and appalled looks I get from people (OK, women) who don't get why I CANNOT WAIT for my wedding to be OVER already.

Some girls plan their weddings from the time they were born. Actually, I'm guessing you really start around age 5, because I have a hard time believing babies think about this sort of thing. But, I guess I really don't know what babies think about, so anything's possible. Regardless (shocker, I know) I am not one of those girls.

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Image Courtesy of: Wedding by Color

Fact is - I never wanted a wedding.

Don't get me wrong, I wanted to get married. That's a distinctly different beast, though. You can be married without a wedding. Hell, you can even do it the other way around if you're not so concerned with that pesky legal recognition issue.

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Image Courtesy of: Scott and Tem Photography

I wanted to elope. My fiancé wanted the big family wedding.

In the spirit of compromise, I agreed despite my serious reservations involving my ability to tolerate putting such an event together and my ability to tolerate my often overly dramatic family (and, little did I know, his would be just as bad, if not worse). I went balls to the wall on wedding planning. I am not one to do ANYTHING half-assed, let alone something as huge as a wedding.

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Image Courtesy of: Rod-or-Rick

Of course, the minute you start planning a wedding, the input and commentary starts flowing in whether you want it or not. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not so great at quietly listening to unsolicited advice. I quickly became overwhelmed with all of the input.

Do what's best for you, right? Well, I'm even worse at handling unsolicited input AFTER I already made a decision. And weddings? Involve 500,000 decisions and therefore 500,000 opportunities for people to give you their opinions.

There's genocide in Africa and people are giving me crap about napkins?!

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Image Courtesy of: Ruckas Pictures

The way I see it, planning a wedding is kind of the same as a big birthday party. Would someone call you to "discuss" (or, complain about) your choice in cutlery for your birthday party? How is this necessary or even NORMAL for a wedding?

I've said it before: the important part is we're getting married, and have someone there to do it legally. The rest is just FLUFF.

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Image Courtesy of: WYCD Radio

So, yeah – I want to be married and get this wedding over with so I can get my life back. I'm sick of my house looking like Hurricane Michael's came barreling through (right now, it's a Category 3). I'm tired of people calling me to solve things that are, in the end, NOT MY PROBLEM. Would you call the birthday boy/girl if you cheaped out on rental cars for their party and couldn't figure out how 10 people were going to share? No. So figure it out. I'm tired of the family members on both sides who seem to think they are the #1 priority in this wedding. Last time I checked, as long as the fiancé and I are there with witnesses and a minister, the marriage will still happen, so unless you are one of those people, it's not about YOU. I'm tired of trying to cram in hours of crafting after work in an attempt to have a nice wedding on a tight budget. Oh yeah, and remember that part where I also have chronic migraines? On a good week, I have one doctor's appointment. This week? I had four that I had to fit in along with getting the marriage license, tracking down vendors (ours have been great, for the record), and wrapping silverware.

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Image Courtesy of: Dex Knows

Above all, I am really, really tired of having to justify every single teeny decision I've made. Not all are easy to make, you know, so I have put a lot of thought into this and am not just trying to crap all over your feelings/kids/choice in pants/whatever. I'm throwing a party, not curing cancer, people. As long as we get married legally, the day is a success in my book.

Just because I'm not excited about the wedding doesn't mean I'm not really excited to get married. And isn't that what's really important?