Welcome To My House… It’s Crap.

Welcome to my house… it's crap. I mean, it's really, truly awful. But, so many of you have been following the adventures of one boy, one girl, one preschooler, one baby, one cat, and one really ugly house on my social media networks that I figured the least I could do was show you all of the horrific befores. Seriously, they are bad. Ugtastic. Just look for yourselves:

The front of our house.

Please note the straight-out-of-the-eighties southwestern pink paint job.

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The car port.

For the record, shortly after I took this photo, we attached a rope to it and a truck and pulled that sucker right down in one try.

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The kitchen.

That's right. Drink it in. Please feast your eyes on the mauve and baby blue vinyl tiles, the green faux marble laminate counter tops, and the unfinished cabinets. Also, take note of the dining table that's shoved into a corner so we can actually walk into the living room (thus rendering the dining area unusable).

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The living room.

Pros: It gets gorgeous light. Cons: Everything single thing else. It's long and narrow so it's super difficult to create a workable seating/TV arrangement that also allows people to walk from the kitchen through to the bedrooms without invading everyone's space.

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The hall bathroom.

Yes, that IS floor to ceiling wood paneling that you see. In a bathroom. With a blue faux marble counter top.

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The once-was-a-guest-room-and-now-Melanie's room-and-soon-to-be-Finn's-room-too.

It is also weirdly long and narrow (like the living room) and has four doors. FOUR.

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The master bedroom.

This is where all the magic happens people. And by magic, I mean nothing because it has a weird layout with 2 windows and three doors and not a single blank wall.

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The master bathroom.

Clearly, it's a spa retreat, right? With more floor to ceiling wood paneling and brown faux marble laminate counter tops. And as an added bonus, the floor of the shower is soft and the toilet doesn't work!

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The laundry shed.

Literally, a falling down shed where I do laundry. We also use it for storage and the freezer.

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And now you know my pain.

Needless to say, we gotta a lotta work to do. And I’m going to share that journey with you. All the dirty details, all the reno mishaps, all the budgets, all the purchases, all the arguing, everything. Lord help us all.