Like, LAZY lazy.
I was crap at tummy time because it was too hard to get back up again after being on the floor.
The Lazy Bitch's Guide to HypnoBirthing
I don't do Mommy and Me classes because it would involve putting on pants and showering.
My baby co-slept because I didn't have to get out of bed at night to nurse her.
Yeah, I'm hella lazy.
*If you cannot or are not having a natural birth – no judgement. As long as you are having a baby – you're doing it right.
If you've been following my parenting journey then you know I had a great birth that was natural and nearly pain-free.
// I may earn money from the companies mentioned in this post. //
A huge part of having such a great birth was that I used the HypnoBirthing process.
I decided to give this birthing theory a try after reading about it years ago and realizing that, with my Social Anxiety Disorder, I was going to need something to help me deal with the fear and anxiety of labor and delivery.
I stumbled upon this book and used it to figure out the easiest way to implement the HypnoBirthing process without feeling overwhelmed.
Come to Peace with the Pain
I think that this one was a big one that wasn't addressed enough in the book.
While the HypnoBirthing process is a tool to assist you in a pain-free birth, personally, I think that you need to accept and make peace with the fact that it may not happen for you.
For one, if you do feel pain (and I did a bit), this will help you not feel like a failure – and nothing is more demoralizing than feeling like that during labor.
Also, in my case, with acceptance came peace.
I didn't feel the need to “fight” the pain or resist it when it did happen.
I accepted it as part of the process and moved on.
Learn to Relax on Command
This is straight up the #1 BIGGEST tool you will have.
The entire concept of HypnoBirthing is based upon the idea that, during labor and delivery, you can focus your energy in two ways – fight your body or relax and let it do it's job.
By teaching your body to relax on command, you're better able to remain calm and let your body do it's thing.
This really struck a cord with me because while I was growing up, I was in musical theater and the number one thing they tell you is to rehearse until you can “do it in your sleep”.
It's the same for HypnoBirthing, if you prepare yourself appropriately, you WILL be able to relax on command.
And it's awesome to be able to do that instead of tensing up from fear.
Use Music (or Whatever)
One key thing of teaching your body to relax on command is to have a trigger.
Much like how you automatically reach for ice cream after a meal or always have to read a book before going to bed, your body needs a signal to tell it when it's time.
For me, that was music.
I kept my iPod (yes, I AM that old) nearby and had a relaxation playlist (this one – it's not super New Age-y or plinky) that I would play when I needed it.
I got to a point where all I had to do was imagine the first few notes in my head and my body would begin to lighten and relax!
Heads up, this is also great for after the baby.
When newborn Melanie was flipping out in the middle of the night but wouldn't let us help her, all I had to do is plug in my headphones and relax my way back to sleep.
Pick Your Position
There are like, a billion different positions to be in while in labor and even while delivering.
Try them all and then stick with the one that allows you to focus on relaxing.
For me, that was standing up but leaned over and supporting myself on something so my legs could relax.
Anytime I tried to lie down or sit, I would feel pain.
So standing it was.
Again, doing what works and not stressing out about anything else just helps you focus on relaxing.
Practice, Practice, Practice
Yes, you will need to practice HypnoBirthing.
And no, if you do yoga or meditate, it will not “just happen” for you once labor starts.
Like any marathon – you need to practice.
I started practicing at the end of my second trimester.
Every morning, I would take twenty minutes, listen to my playlist, and practice relaxing my body entirely (but not falling asleep).
I cannot stress enough how important it is to PRACTICE.
Bob with the Ocean
This is just a practice in visualization.
HypnoBirthing is big on focusing your energies and understanding what your body is doing.
For some people, when a contraction starts, they visualize themselves as a flower opening it's buds.
That didn't work for me.
For me, I had to visualize myself in the middle of an ocean on a past Hawaii vacation.
Whenever a wave would come, if I fought against it, I would drift back to shore.
But, if I relaxed and allowed myself to bob with the ocean, I would stay where I was.
This visualization was huge for me during labor.
I was able to use it to visualize the surges (in HypnoBirthing, contractions are called surges) moving through my body like a wave and releasing the pain out through my vagina.
Hey man, it worked for me.
Have an Advocate
This goes for anyone even if you're not HypnoBirthing.
You're going to be busy having a baby and you'll need someone in your corner willing to fight for you.
It can be as simple as them answering questions so that you don't have to.
It can also mean that they get between you and a doctor trying to make you change your birth plans coughshoutouttomyhusbandcough.
Just having an advocate who believes in you and is willing to fight for you will take so much pressure off you and allow you to, yes, focus on relaxing.
Megan says
What is the name of the book you read? The link just took me to amazon with the search box as Hypnobirthing.
Cris says
It’s this one: Hypnobirthing Book. And thanks for the heads up – I’ll fix that link ASAP.
Steph McGee says
Hey Cris, what a fabulously practical & realistic approach to hypnobirthing! Lazy bitches guide? Smart bitches guide more like! I love that you found your peace with the prospect of pain – recognising that birth (like life) just isn’t perfect is such a big part of making it positive – expecting perfection almost always ends in some kind of disappointment. I utterly loved my 3 natural hypnobirths and not one of them went to plan! (i’d give birth again in a heart beat x)
Cris says
Thank you!
Sahra says
yesss the water visual I think is what I’m giong to focus on! Thank you for making this easy and digestable intro to hypnobirthing!
XO Sahra
Que Sera Sahra
Cris says
It’s what worked for me. I know a friend visualized herself walking up and down and escalator. Whatever works, right?
Maggie says
Did you take a class on hynobirthing or did you learn everything you needed from the book you mention?
Cris says
I did not take a class and truthfully, only skimmed the book (I am hella lazy). I took the basic concepts and practiced relaxing on cue to help with my severe anxiety – which ended up helping me labor without much pain at all.
Emonie says
I was meant to read this I’m making my daughter Melanie too and I am also semi-lazy lol this article made me feel way less stressed about labor I’m glad I read this!
Cris says
This legit made me smile! Thank you for the sweet comment and you’re going to do awesome.
Sarah says
Ah yes…the article I been lookin for. Not only am I a lazy bitch, I’m a broke bitch too, I ain’t got the time money or patience to take a hypo birthing class online or even really invest a ton in books that I’m not gonna read cover to cover. Thanks for this!!!
Cris says
Any time! You are my kind of people – broke and lazy. 😉
Daylen Ali Carolina says
Oh my, hypnobirthing is completely new to me! I am currently six months pregnant and in the process of gathering information to ensure that I am well-prepared for the upcoming birth, as this will be my first experience..but I must admit that I am feeling a bit apprehensive about the birthing process!